Why Your Fancy Pants Outfit P*sses Me Off

Fancy PantsI love taking my daughter to the park! She’s finally old enough to enjoy it, which makes her happy and gives me a few much needed moments of tranquil. Plus, since it’s so close to home, it’s a great impromptu outing when I just can’t live another moment in the circus that I call home. Unfortunately, there’s always that one mom who shows up at the park with her kids dressed like miniature Abercrombie models and whose own makeup and outfit look like they were assembled and applied by a team of trained professionals. It never fails, and it really p*sses me off! I am currently a stay at home mom. Let’s face it, I rarely have a reason to wear a bra, let alone high end shoes that perfectly compliment my coordinated makeup and jewelry. But, for a trip to the park I’ll break down, throw on some mascara, yoga pants, a tank top, and a bra. We all know the playground is supposed to basically be a mom’s safe zone where she can go to let her kids run wild while she kicks back on a bench and gets a few precious moments of comfort and peace. That is of course, until Miss Fancy Pants shows up. Suddenly, instead of wallowing in our comfort and ignoring the unidentifiable stains on the “clean” clothes that we threw on, we are faced with feeling fat, frumpy, and about as far from stylish as a person can get. Let’s face it ladies, we don’t dress to impress men, we dress to impress each other and if you insist on looking totally fabulous just to go to the park, you’re really playing dirty. It’s like wearing a white dress to a wedding. What the hell are you thinking? Go home. Put on your frumpy jeans, throw your hair in a ponytail and we’ll welcome you back with open arms. But until then, take your fancy-pants kids and go play at the mall.